Week two of bible study talked about radical obedience and simply putting God above all else! I had read a lot of the comments on the study blog, in my group, and just reading the book on how others were radically obedient.
So, as I was reading chapter 3, I’m thinking that I am in no way strong enough to be that radically obedient. It was almost kind of depressing because I want to be, but 1) I don’t even know if I’m being asked to be radically obedient to anything, and 2) I don’t know if I am hearing God….or just having an endless one way conversation. You know how sometimes how you try so hard at something…well, that’s how I’ve been feeling with this study. I need to remember that this isn’t a one size fits all way of saying yes! Maybe I should repeat that right now….
THIS ISN’T A ONE SIZE FITS ALL WAY OF SAYING YES!!!
Still, I’ve been feeling somewhat bad because I didn’t think I had a#saywhat moment, or a radical obedient moment when I simply just said #yestoGod. And I wanted one. Why didn’t God allow me to have one of those moments. Am I not strong enough? Was I so unwilling and was my heart so cold?
Well, as it turns out…I have and God simply just slapped me upside the head to remind me of that moment!
Yesterday, I was looking over some of the boards on Pinterest that are about faith, and I saw a pin that simply said “I AM”. But it said that several times and then said exactly what “I AM” is….
- the bread of life
- light of the world
- the gate
- the good shepard
- the resurrection and the life
- the way, the truth, and the life
- the true vine
- “I AM”
And something stirred in me, but I didn’t understand. So I asked God what…I know You are I AM, but what am I suppose to do?
Nothing…I heard nothing.
Today, I was listening to the radio all day at work. I had walked away from my desk and when I came back, I realized I had missed one of my favorite songs. No big deal…radio stations play songs over and over. Still, when I saw what the title of the song was, I felt that little stir again. So again, I said, what?? I don’t know what you want me to do.
Confusing and a bit frustrated. I don’t know what “I AM” wants me to be radically obedient to! Please God, help me! Well, that slap upside the head came as I was driving home. My song came on, so I turned it up and sang it at the top of my lungs!!!
You’re the one who conquers giants
You’re the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You’re the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan’s hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am
OH….I AM!!! Ok…it’s in my favorite song (“You Are I Am” by MercyMe)…but still, what does God want? I know You are I AM…the song told me, the pin told me, the Bible tells me…but I don’t know what You want.
And then He answered.
It’s not what He wants at this moment, it’s what He asked of me about four months ago when I was at my lowest of lows and felt I was beyond His grace.
My radical obedience came when God told me I was going to give up listening to all music that didn’t glorify and praise Him and honor Him, and remind me who He is and that He is always there!
And there was no questioning that for me. It was what was expected and what I was going to do. And through that music, I have found so many bible verses that I didn’t even know where in the bible because it’s not something I have ever really read or studied….until now.
God told me I was going to get to know Him through His word and through music that praised and glorified Him and reminded me He is always there.
I was radically obedient and didn’t even know it, and God reminded me tonight what He insisted I do for Him.