Week two of bible study talked about radical obedience and simply putting God above all else! I had read a lot of the comments on the study blog, in my group, and just reading the book on how others were radically obedient.
So, as I was reading chapter 3, I’m thinking that I am in no way strong enough to be that radically obedient. It was almost kind of depressing because I want to be, but 1) I don’t even know if I’m being asked to be radically obedient to anything, and 2) I don’t know if I am hearing God….or just having an endless one way conversation. You know how sometimes how you try so hard at something…well, that’s how I’ve been feeling with this study. I need to remember that this isn’t a one size fits all way of saying yes! Maybe I should repeat that right now….
THIS ISN’T A ONE SIZE FITS ALL WAY OF SAYING YES!!!
Still, I’ve been feeling somewhat bad because I didn’t think I had a#saywhat moment, or a radical obedient moment when I simply just said #yestoGod. And I wanted one. Why didn’t God allow me to have one of those moments. Am I not strong enough? Was I so unwilling and was my heart so cold?
Well, as it turns out…I have and God simply just slapped me upside the head to remind me of that moment!
Yesterday, I was looking over some of the boards on Pinterest that are about faith, and I saw a pin that simply said “I AM”. But it said that several times and then said exactly what “I AM” is….
- the bread of life
- light of the world
- the gate
- the good shepard
- the resurrection and the life
- the way, the truth, and the life
- the true vine
- “I AM”
And something stirred in me, but I didn’t understand. So I asked God what…I know You are I AM, but what am I suppose to do?
Nothing…I heard nothing.
Today, I was listening to the radio all day at work. I had walked away from my desk and when I came back, I realized I had missed one of my favorite songs. No big deal…radio stations play songs over and over. Still, when I saw what the title of the song was, I felt that little stir again. So again, I said, what?? I don’t know what you want me to do.
Confusing and a bit frustrated. I don’t know what “I AM” wants me to be radically obedient to! Please God, help me! Well, that slap upside the head came as I was driving home. My song came on, so I turned it up and sang it at the top of my lungs!!!
You’re the one who conquers giants
You’re the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You’re the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan’s hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am
OH….I AM!!! Ok…it’s in my favorite song (“You Are I Am” by MercyMe)…but still, what does God want? I know You are I AM…the song told me, the pin told me, the Bible tells me…but I don’t know what You want.
And then He answered.
It’s not what He wants at this moment, it’s what He asked of me about four months ago when I was at my lowest of lows and felt I was beyond His grace.
My radical obedience came when God told me I was going to give up listening to all music that didn’t glorify and praise Him and honor Him, and remind me who He is and that He is always there!
And there was no questioning that for me. It was what was expected and what I was going to do. And through that music, I have found so many bible verses that I didn’t even know where in the bible because it’s not something I have ever really read or studied….until now.
God told me I was going to get to know Him through His word and through music that praised and glorified Him and reminded me He is always there.
I was radically obedient and didn’t even know it, and God reminded me tonight what He insisted I do for Him.
Finding Myself 
I can so relate to this. I feel a little adrift trying to hear what God is saying to me. Thank you for saying its not a one size fits all. It makes so much sense because we are all unique.
Yesterday I thought maybe God was telling me to give up TV after reading he said that to Lysa. I said something to my husband about it and he hotly disagreed. Then he reiterated what I felt God told me a few months earlier but had forgotten. God wants me to step out of my comfort zone and start making friends.
Wow! Amazing how deaf I can be to God. He had to get someone else to say it.
Amy, Thank you for your comment. When I finally remembered that each path we are on is as unique as we are, it only made sense to me that how we say yes would also be very different. And that is when I was able to hear God….because it was my path. I hope your path helps you out of your comfort zone and that you find an amazing group of friends along the way that help you to grow and help you move forward in your journey!
I really enjoyed your blog…. I have felt kind of the same way… Trying to hard to figuar out what God might be asking me to do. At the same time I have been so blessed by all of the sharing and encouragement that has been expressed during this study…reading your blog made me think about my participation in the study. Two weeks ago I had never been to a Facebook party or tweeted. I didn’t really know what twitter was:). But I felt God nudging me to be involved in as many things as I could with our OBS and even though it wasn’t really in my comfort zone I stepped out and tried. I couldn’t hardley keep up with the first twitter party but did my best. I felt a little more comfortable at the Facebook party and now I am commenting on your Blog!!! God is so good… Hope you have a blessed “SAYWHAT ” weekend !:)
Thank you! If there is one thing blogging has taught me it’s that I am not alone in how I feel. I’m not one for twitter at all, and the facebook party times haven’t worked out for me, however, I would like to encourage you to write on your blog because you never know who will read it and how it will help them! Keep participating and you’ll be amazed at how much you get out of the study…I know I am!
You had “holy smack” moment! LOL We make understanding God’s wish for radical obedience more difficult than it is. Guilty! I’m VERY guilty! Thank you for sharing your testimony!! Loved reading it!
Vivian, Thank you! Yes, I do make things more difficult than I need to…thus the smack upside my head! LOL….
So Awesome he kept giving you hints as to what he was saying and you listened 🙂 love it
Thank you. It was a lightbulb moment for sure!
If we don’t get it the first time – God will keep pursuing us! Thanks for sharing
I’m forever grateful that God keeps pursuing us! Imagine how lost we would be otherwise.
I love how God brought it all together for you like this! He showed you what he meant in his time. You asked for clarification & it came. WooHoo!
Tricia, I think God made me wait to also test my patience….it’s something I really lack!
Love how God help you point out something months earlier and then it takes you a whole day to get the answer! Shows how “we seek and we will find” even walking around to #SayWhat!! Love this and keep it up~ (OBS Small Group Leader)
Thanks! Funny thing was I was listening to the radio all day at work, yet it never clicked. But God finally let me in on the answer….and now, I kind of giggle about it!
Wow! That’s like “Yes to God”, “Say What” and “Radical Obedience” all in one!!!!!! I think it’s wonderful how you sought the Lord throughout your day until you were sure you heard Him. Not to mention how your story shows that He is faithful, desires to speak to us and patiently waits until we get it.Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Debbie, It was quite the moment, and yet the simplest of answers. And I didn’t even need to question that I was hearing God, and that made me happy.
Awesome! And God is so tender with us! Despite not obeying him earlier, He gives us another chance to obey!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad for all the second chances.
How true He is always there as we listen we will filled with Him and receive what He has for us.
Enjoyed all your comments..
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by to read my blog! I am learning that God is always there and it’s an amazing feeling!